Soul Realignments, Realignments, Healings Perth, Best Healer Perth, Akashic Records Reader Perth

Carla's Realignments

Find out what your Soul's Records say about you.

Carla's Blog

Carla's Blog

Indirect Boundaries, the boundaries you aren't aware of.

Posted on September 8, 2019 at 11:50 PM

When we talk about boundaries most people think about how another person can violate or disrespect another whether it’s through some sort of intentional verbal, emotional or physical abuse. I see these all as direct boundary violations. So I wanted to address a different side to boundaries. Indirect boundary violations. These are the boundaries that have been violated without you knowing it. It’s generally such a subtle violation that you are left looking back on an event that hurt you but you don’t know why you feel hurt.

Here’s an example. A husband comes home from work and rather than going to kiss his wife first he goes and great the family pet first or maybe chooses to only kiss her after he’s gone to have a shower. To the wife she may feel like she is second priority and not the first person he wants to connect with when he gets home. To him it’s no big deal, the dog ran to the door first and he just wants to be clean before kissing his wife. He didn’t directly do anything towards her in this case it was what he didn’t do.

Now let’s assume for a moment that his wife is this case was someone who was raising in a family where love and connection was often withdrawn or withheld from her? Every time her Father was angry at her He would stop talking to her for days, or her Mother often made her feel as though she worthy of Love and attention. From her perspective this withdrawal of connection and attention would be a painful relapse to her childhood. Therefore, withdrawal would be one of her biggest boundary violations. Without her knowing herself and even more so without her Husband knowing about this indirect violation of HER boundaries, both parties could end up resenting each other without knowing why.


So I’m going to open my heart to you the reader. Withdrawal of support and connection just so happens to be one of my personal boundaries. I offer support and connection to those I allow to get close to me. My mother would often stop talking to me for days even months if she was upset with me. Therefore, I associate withdrawal as a form of punishment. Recently, I asked a friend to like my business page and she outright refused, says she doesn’t believe in what I do. OK! As you can imagine this felt like a knife cut right through me especially because I really felt like I could trust her to support me, her withdrawal felt like punishment to me. Which in her reality was no big deal, and I had to honor her for honoring her own boundaries but will I ever allow her the opportunity to violate that boundary I have of withdrawal again? NO WAY! Interestingly growing up I used to even use withdrawal as a form of punishment towards myself. I would neglect my own needs in my seeking approval from others. I managed to overcome this conditioning over years of inner work. I still get tested once in a while especially within this industry you’d be surprised how many abusive people have the urge to share their religious views with me privately but being a highly conscious being I nip it in the butt very quickly and I’ve learnt to treat it like water off a duck’s back. Imagine how this could affect someone who isn’t very self-aware? They’re going about life completely clueless to what their own boundaries are.

Your feelings are your guidance system in regards to knowing if your boundaries have been stepped on. If you are constantly checking in with yourself and asking yourself why am I feeling hurt in this situation? What is it about this situation that made me feel hurt? When was the very first time I first felt this feeling? You may just realize that some of the boundaries that you have been allowing to be violated are boundaries you’ve had since childhood but because you’ve consistently abandoned yourself and allowed those personal boundaries to be violated you’ve lost sight of when they first began. Then you could be misled to think that it’s your partner doing it to you on purpose.

Remember that boundaries are constantly evolving. Your job is to know and understand your boundaries so that you can clearly articulate them with confidence to those around you.

By Carla Savannah

Categories: Self Development

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.


Reply otc ed pills
2:48 PM on July 8, 2020 
otc ed pills
Reply another name for tylenol
6:29 AM on July 8, 2020 
another name for tylenol
Reply replacement for ventolin inhaler
12:21 PM on July 7, 2020 
replacement for ventolin inhaler
Reply keflex antibiotic coverage
7:14 AM on July 5, 2020 
keflex antibiotic coverage
Reply amoxicillin 500mg for dogs
12:24 PM on July 3, 2020 
amoxicillin 500mg for dogs
Reply good rx clomiphene
9:24 AM on July 2, 2020 
good rx clomiphene
Reply buy cenforce 200 mg
3:30 AM on July 2, 2020 
buy cenforce 200 mg
Reply sildenafil citrate 100mg prices walmart
8:59 AM on July 1, 2020 
sildenafil citrate 100mg prices walmart
Reply careprost for sale united states
12:26 PM on June 30, 2020 
careprost for sale united states
Reply hydroxychloroquine at walgreens
6:57 AM on June 29, 2020 
hydroxychloroquine at walgreens
Reply hydroxychloroquine 200 mg cost
7:08 PM on June 28, 2020 
hydroxychloroquine 200 mg cost
Reply cost of prednisone 10mg
9:14 PM on June 27, 2020 
cost of prednisone 10mg
Reply generic viagra sales
4:30 PM on June 26, 2020 
Touche. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the great effort.
Reply cialis without a doctor prescription
3:38 PM on June 26, 2020 
cialis without a doctor prescription
Reply good rx naltrexone 25 mg
1:27 PM on June 26, 2020 
Reply does viagra have generic
10:23 AM on June 24, 2020 
Thank you a lot for sharing this with all of us you really realize
what you are speaking approximately! Bookmarked.
Please additionally discuss with my site =). We can have a link trade contract between us
Reply buy cialis online
9:07 PM on June 23, 2020 
I've been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or blog
posts on this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I
ultimately stumbled upon this web site. Studying this
info So i'm glad to convey that I've an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I found out just what I needed.
I such a lot unquestionably will make sure to do not disregard this site and give
it a look on a relentless basis.
Reply MarkVot
8:07 PM on May 3, 2020 
advair tretinoin cream 1 purchase doxycycline online lisinopril 5 mg
Reply AlanVot
4:29 PM on May 3, 2020 
tadalafil buy nolvadex online synthroid amoxicillin lisinopril 10 mg buy prednisolone 5mg without prescription uk furosemide 40 mg diuretic doxycycline prices doxycycline 100mg tablets clomid cialis sildenafil vardenafil 20mg lipitor generic advair medication lisinopril valtrex acyclovir acyclovir without a prescription tetracycline online
Reply IvyVot
2:28 PM on May 3, 2020 
buy synthroid without a prescription doxycycline phenergan tretinoin gel 1 dapoxetine tadalafil 20 mg furosemide prednisone advair 500 mg sildenafil online prices zoloft motilium domperidone women's viagra pink pill kamagra effervescent indocin how to get doxycycline 100mg acyclovir zovirax for sale seroquel albuterol sulfate inhaler