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Carla's Blog

Connection Vs Individuality

Posted on January 12, 2020 at 9:20 PM

One of the greatest challenges humanity will face is learning how to find balance between connection and Individuality. We came from Oneness and Connection of energy and incarnate into a world of dense matter and separation.


Connection is detrimental for human survival. We need a society to grow food, build houses and roads, take our trash, exchange resources for money and for intimacy and procreation. Hundreds of years ago safety and protection was reliant on the strength of our tribe.


However, when our own family, generally at a young age, rejects our desire to be individual and express our uniqueness, we begin to associate the need for connection with pain and suffering. As we then grow we become more and more fearful of connection at the risk of being hurt. We may even begin to seek connection with other things like animals, food even serious addictions. Two scenarios can come from this subconscious painful conditioning to connection. Either we learn that to be alone is safer and choose to no longer connect with anyone or we learn that in order to connect with others we can’t have a sense of individuality or be ourselves.


Scenario 1: If we choose to be alone we deprive ourselves of the basic need to have a deeper connection with another. We hinder our emotional “growth” by avoiding the challenges that come with learning how to love, be compassionate and accept another’s differences. We lose intimacy, nurturing and tenderness that another can offer. Never really learning how to co-operate and function as a part of society. Studies have shown a baby will die without physical touch.


Scenario 2: In the desperation for connection we adapt to the people around us, never express our authentic self and becomes self-sacrificial, then resentful towards the person we are trying to connect with because we subconsciously think they are trying to suppress or consume us.


All of this can be avoided when we as humans come to terms with our need for both Connection and Individuality. When we succeed in recognizing in each moment or scenario “Am I seeking connection here or am I seeking independence? How can I find a way to have both in this situation?” We then learn that we can have ourself and others at the same time. The illusion of separation that we live in this time space reality is what makes us think that we can’t have both. But we can!!

By Carla Savannah




Categories: Self Development, Consciousness, Relationships

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